Other Ways (I Tried) To Say I Love You

Or at least it’s how I do it.

It’s true, those three, sweet, sappy words is just too common nowadays if you ask me. No one can really tell if it’s real anymore. I mean, really, do you know? If you do, enlighten me. But if you don’t, then just sit back and read on.

It takes great courage to confess your feelings toward someone. And let’s just clearly point out that I am not one of those people. I don’t go around preaching people (anymore) to reveal their love, since I for one cannot do so. You can’t go judging me, a lot of people are too.

And since I have this clever way of weaving words intricately so no one can really tell how I feel, I’ve never told it to anyone. But I’ve loved, I did. Those previous depressive posts weren’t derived from nothing. And so, here I am, finally revealing as to how I really confess how I feel. I’m not sure if it is the smart choice, but it’s about damn time isn’t it? And I’m sure there are some people who also do the same, even more mysterious than how I do it, so I’m being a traitor to them.

Yes, you are not attractive and you are not my type. I didn’t even know I had a type until I met you. You are the epitome of everything I don’t want in someone of the opposite sex and my standards is clearly too high because of Tom Felton. But I tell you that you look fine and that the girl you are courting will someday see some sense. And after that I will ask her to see an eye doctor.

 

Yes, I am so interested about you and this girl that you like, please do tell me more. I will also give you the advice I’m sure you will not take. And when you ask for real help I will sincerely do so without asking for anything in return.

 

I will tolerate you until you get lung cancer and I emphysema. I will talk to you until 4AM about your endless battle with smoking. You tell me your life story, and I’m just going to keep saying ‘Oh, really?’ or some clever questions to keep the conversation flowing.

 

My mom adores you. And she adores your late night phone calls too. That’s why she snatches the phone away from me by 12 midnight so the two of you could chat. I’m not even surprised she lets you call her ‘Mommy’.

 

We’ve been friends for too long, and it was nice. I don’t understand why they tease us though. Where did they get that idea? (nervous chuckle) Yeah, they’re just probably messing with us, aren’t they?

 

Well I don’t really know what I feel about you right now, about us, about everything. I know, I’m a retard. Thanks for reminding me. Get back at me at maybe a year or so, will you? Maybe I still don’t know by then.

 

Stop being so nice to me. I’m serious. No one does that anymore, what dimension did you come from anyway? No really, stop it okay? You do it one more time, I will castrate you. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Just. Stop. Being. Too. Nice.

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