So I didn’t really watch Lloydie and Angel’s (Ay feeling close? Hahahaha) most recent movie Unofficially Yours, but I found this quote from a social networking site that I spend too much time on:
Hindi mo lang alam. Gustong-gusto kitang mahalin, kaso natatakot ako. Natatakot akong masaktan. Ano na lang ang matitira sa akin kapag iniwan mo ako? Kasi habang lumalaki ang pakiramdam ko na minamahal kita, lumalaki din ang takot sa puso ko. Takot na akong masaktan muli. Minsan kasi sa buhay ko, may isang taong nagsabi din ng mga sinasabi mo ngayon. Pero anong nangyari? Iniwan din niya ako. Kaya mahirap na ring magtiwala ngayon.
If I’m not mistaken, that’s Angel’s line? So anyway, I don’t want to go all dramatic on you guys, and repeat myself over and over (and over and over… you get it) again, but I would be lying if I didn’t admit to you all that I for one am on the same page. Her character is practically written based on my life. But no, I am not sexually active, heavens no! The whole ‘I-will-never-be-attached’ story line is what I meant.
And don’t even think about lying to yourself, I know several people who feels exactly the same way. We might as well make a congregation. What should we name it? Landi Landi Lang Unisex Association of the Philippines? In short, LLLUAP. HAHAHAHAHA. Kidding. But it may be possible, who wants to register it to the local government?
So basically, what happened here was once upon a time, not so long ago, or maybe it was long ago you just can’t get over it, someone loved you and promised to do it until their last breath. As in, nag-pinky promise pa siya. And then BAM! They abandoned you, and you were so hurt you wanted to break not only their pinky but all the bones in their body, just so they could feel the pain.
And so here you are now, gallivanting with the opposite sex, and when someone finally takes an interest on you, you build a wall of Jericho in ten seconds max. And if that’s not enough, you wear a suit of armor, full gear, and then bury yourself underground to escape. Sounds familiar?
It’s only natural to feel that way, don’t think you’ll end up alone all your life. You won’t, yet. Dundunduuuun!
It just so happens that you have given love, sometimes too much, and then it was wasted. Kumbaga sa economics, feeling mo natural resources ka at may insatiable need yung tao. You gave your all, but it wasn’t enough, so they left.
And that’s good! It means you have so much love to give, you should be proud. Everyone has their saturation point, its understandable.
I know, there there, don’t fret. Its scary, no, it’s horrifying to take that chance again. What if you make the same mistake of falling for someone who will end up hurting you? Paulit-ulit? Unli ka teh?
People aren’t perfect, eventually they are going to hurt you in the process even if they didn’t mean to. You might be hurting someone without you realizing it, too. It’s not a reason for you to keep distance, it’s part of human nature.
But there is good news! Somehow God created us to have unending, overflowing love to share. One is capable to forgive, and restore. It just takes courage (and time, yes) in our part. You might not be strong enough, but you have to cooperate. Relationships are a two-way street. If you want the barriers to fall, you’re going to have to meet them halfway, help them out.
And if it hurts, so what? You’re one level away to reaching your happily ever after. Nobody said it was easy, Chris Martin said so.
So dear fellow members of LLLUAP, take that leap! Some people might be destined to live alone, but if you think you’re not one of them, then you’re going to have to do something about it. It will hurt before it gets better.