Things You Should Know Before Dating Me

My brain is pounding so I guess it’s a cue to start writing again.

1. I eat cereal with milk, but the thought of drinking milk is gross. I don’t know how I survived my infancy years. No milk for me.

2. I’m not much of a picky eater but I actually like chicken. In all kinds of cooking. But most of all, fried chicken.

3. I honestly have no money, so if you’re asking me to Dutch treat you’re going to have to tell me the date beforehand so I can give a contribution.

4. And no, if you’re going to ask me to pay for it gradually for the next following dates we’re going to have trouble. I’m not a sugar momma. Sharing is better. Don’t abuse.

5. I can listen to all kinds of music. Yes, I tolerate Nicki Minaj. So don’t judge me.

6. I sing to all kinds of music too. Even in the most inappropriate places. So sorry in advance.

7. There is a 100% possibility that I will write about you in my blog(s).

8. There will come a time that I will relate any conversation with Harry Potter or Game of Thrones.

9. I am still in Post Potter Depression and will never recover from it.

10. Don’t expect me to bake for you or cook you anything. But I microwave fantastically.

11. I like my privacy. No checking up on me every minute of every day or I will punch you in the face.

12. I wasn’t kidding at that last bit.

13. PDA is tolerated in appropriate situations. e.g. Charlie Brown-esque fireworks display, when your ex is around.

14. I am apologizing in advance if I ever humiliate you in any way in public.

15. I like cats.

16. I like dogs.

17. I also like teacup pigs. But don’t worry, I don’t have them at home.

18. I take too long to look for books to buy in a bookstore.

19. Try your very best to keep me out of clothing stores. I’m just going to look at them but not buy any. Just a waste of time.

20. I walk very fast, even in malls.

21. If we meet my friends, you will have to introduce yourself properly because I suck at that.

22. If we both drink, I won’t get too drunk. But you can’t expect me to drive.

23. I suck at sports. Feel free to spit it to my face.

24. I am sometimes right. When I feel like it. Don’t worry.

25. I’m not really into flowers, but surprise me. If you give me sympathy flowers I will crack up loudly like it’s nobody’s business (Because it really isn’t).

26. I’m not really much of a feminist. Chivalry still works for me.

27. Sometimes I would choose my friends over you.

28. You don’t have to protect me from flying cockroaches. I can fight that battle.

29. I will tease you. A lot. Sometimes it becomes too offensive.

30. I cry over the silliest of things. My brother just recently broke my second earphone and I cried to sleep. Don’t judge me.

31. On my ‘angry days’ chocolate is a nice surprise. Lots of them.

32. You’re going to have to get used to the fact that I can’t go out on a date either because of my brother or I am stuck on the internet. We can chill at home. No promises that it’s clean.

33. I make weird noises. Pterodactyl. Dying whale. Just because of something I saw on the internet. e.g. Tom Felton.

34. I am always going to ask if there’s wifi. Always.

35. I won’t say those three words first.

36. I like cuddling. A lot.

37. I suck at remembering events, dates and whatever. So don’t get too upset if I forgot our anniversary. (If it becomes that long)

38. If my mood had a spectrum, I am generally a 5. So don’t worry there’s nothing wrong. When it comes to the extremes, then there’s a problem.

39. Our family is like the Kardashians. So you’re going to have to keep up with that.

40. You shouldn’t be jealous of Tom Felton. I love him, but yeah, don’t worry about him.

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