It’s not the type where you suddenly discover him in his room in the throes of passion with your best friend.
Of course, that sucks too. You finally introduced him to your group of girl friends on a Friday night, after hearing only stories of him during coffee dates or slumber parties. You told them stories about your first date until finally, you realize that he’s the one. You warned them not to act weird around him beforehand, and start blurting out embarrassing stories and tales of your drunk and wasted escapades or your terrible choice of exes.
They heard you pine for him, saw you grin wide whenever he sent you a text message. They were witnesses at how your face brightened up whenever he entered the room, and how you reunited with a welcoming kiss. They listened to you as you shared the struggles and fights you had, and consoled you with a hug or a tub of Ben & Jerry’s and chick flicks. All the while little did you know that all this time, those inside jokes on Facebook and common interests led them together and to, eventually, do it behind your back.
It’s not when he left you to go back to his ex.
Although that’s quite terrible, sure. You thought that they didn’t really look good together. They had a rough and complicated relationship, always fought and never took fault. You thought he was off with someone better than her, someone that would take care of him and love him they way he deserved to be loved.
Later on, he starts to get closer to you. He frequently asked how you were and asked you out for a coffee maybe. One thing led to another, and the next thing you know, you’ve finally said those three magical words. Everything seemed so perfect, and you were quite certain that he was finally happy with you, the past behind him. That is until he gets a call or a message from his ex, telling him that she was wrong. That she still loved him. That she wanted him back. And he wanted the same thing.
It’s not when he had fallen out of love with you.
It was a whirlwind romance worthy of a movie franchise that Nicholas Sparks could not compete with. The moment you just met him, you knew you were meant to be. His words of love were better than Shakespeare or Neruda, because you knew it was meant for you. You became inseparable, invincible, infinite. It was a love worthy to last through the end of time.
Until one day, he had suddenly changed. You thought he was just not in the mood to hang out, to go on a date, to make love. So you let it pass. He became more distant and didn’t kiss you good night. He said excuses like he was busy with school and work, and had no time for you. Days and weeks would go on and you wouldn’t receive a message from him even if he was online. Then like a hurricane, he finished your love story as fast as it began.
It’s not when you’ve fallen out of love with him.
He helped you heal from your broken past, fixed your damaged heart by replacing it with his. He said he would love you better than all of them, and treat you the way a woman needs to be treated. So you let him. He did a stupendous job at it too. Gave you flowers and chocolates on a random day, and told you you were beautiful on a regular basis. You never felt alone, disregarded, or unsatisfied. He kept his promise.
Finally it dawned on you that you weren’t the type of girl who needed to be saved, or wanted to be. You are and always will be broken, damaged. It wasn’t something that his love, no matter how noble and true, can change. It was beyond his help. No amount of flowers, chocolates, and sweet nothings could alter it.
It’s not when you both have drifted apart that it just made sense to end it.
You have been together for a long time, and everyone was quite certain that you two would end up together. You knew everything about one another, from your pet peeves and small habits. It just made sense that you two stayed together.
Eventually the habits become old, the pet peeves irritating. It wasn’t cute anymore. Being together became more like an obligation, something that you had to do instead of what you wanted, anticipated to. You stayed together for the comfort, and that everyone would wonder how on Earth would such a perfect couple break up? Because it was too perfect.
What’s the worst break-up ever?
It’s when you two still love each other, but have to.
Maybe you were both too young, too immature, for something so great and so big. Maybe you both needed time to find themselves, and perhaps, if the fates allowed, to return and be the same person you both fell in love with during the beginning. Or even better. Maybe you both needed space. Maybe you both needed time to love yourselves more, so that you can be worthy of what the other can give. Maybe you both could be happier when you were apart. Maybe you needed time to grow up, because it takes grown ups to make relationships work.
But it’s the worst break-up ever because you both know, deep in your hearts, that the love is still there. Burning, raging, crashing through the shores. And yet it wasn’t enough to stay.