Why I Don’t Believe In Soulmates

According to the most reliable source of information in the entire internet, Wikipedia, the word soulmate is described as:

A soulmate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity. This may involve similarity, love, romance, friendship, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, or compatibility and trust.

According to Plato, man originally had four arms and legs with a one head that had two faces. But Zeus split the humans into two. And since then, humans longed for their other half. When they are lucky enough to find that other half, or soulmate, there will be immeasurable joy.

To theosophy, a mixture of theology and philosophy thus the name, God created androgynous souls and are separated because of incurred karma. You seek your other half reincarnation after reincarnation and after the karmic debt is paid, will be united once again and always will be forever.

Some of you may have heard of the term bashert, which is a Yiddish word meaning “destiny”. This means your soulmate or bashert is someone you are destined to be with, and was already planned for by the higher being before you two were even born. That person is your heart’s twin.

And then of course you’ve heard Jerry McGuire said “you complete me”. And if that’s not enough, there is a WikiHow on how to find your soulmate.

Basically it’s everywhere and everyone, both men and women are looking for it.

Not to make myself a special snowflake, or just so I can be an ass and say I’m better than all of you but yeah, I don’t believe in soulmates. The idea of having that one specific person out there that you are destined to be with, that serendipity will bring to you, that you have to wait for, it’s not my thing.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to say that I’m not into monogamous relationships, because I very much am. I like the idea of spending the remaining days of my life with one person, but to think that he’s my soulmate? I’m not buying it.

The human soul is like a big bag of candy canes for Christmas. A thousand piece puzzle. In the big picture, you look at it, and that’s who you are. But as you grow up, as you go out to the world, you meet different people. And these people does something extraordinary in your life that you give them a piece of your candy cane. You would offer a piece of your puzzle. If you’re lucky, you get a candy cane or puzzle piece back. This extraordinary thing could be something so great like saving your life to something so evil like breaking your heart, something so simple like giving you a smile to something intricate like changing your outlooks in life.

And these people, whatever they do, whether they stay or just pass through, they become a part of you not just by memory. It changes you into someone, for better or worse, all entirely up to us. It’s all a matter of using the candy canes for good. It’s a matter of connecting the puzzle pieces together to make a good picture.

So no, I don’t believe in soulmates. I believe that I am changed by every person I meet, and they become a fraction of who I am, or build me into a person hopefully better than what I am right now, whether it’s because or circumstances or fate. And I’d like to be someone’s puzzle piece as well.

Maybe that’s why I believe soulmates is bollocks because it is always connotated romantically, when in fact there are different kinds of love. No matter what category you put yourself into, you can make a big difference in a person’s life. Imagine the beauty or damage that you can do.

Instead, I believe in persons. Persons of character, beliefs, fears, mysteries, love, and life. Persons that mold me, shape me, and form me into my very own person. John Locke had this theory that had the term tabula rasa or “blank slate” when it comes to the human mind. That when we are born, we are pure and clean. We are touched, tainted through our gained knowledge and experiences. Sure, Locke got it right in a mental perspective. But to me, this refers to my persons. I am a white, clean, untainted slate until touched to become who I am now.

And so to you, you are not my soulmate. But you have the biggest piece of the puzzle that is me, you get the first made candy cane. So I’m sorry if I don’t believe in soulmates, but I believe in persons. And you are, by far, and most probably will be, my favorite person in this entire universe. And if that doesn’t count, then I don’t know what will.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s