i knew from the way you talked
to me so animatedly was the beginning
of something wrong, for me,
and also for you, especially for you
because i knew right then and there
that you may have bared your teeth
but i was a wolf in a sheep’s hide
aiming for your throat
i knew from the way you tried to demonstrate
how you could break my frail little hand
by a flick of your wrist
that it was you aiming for my skin to see
if i was as delicate as i looked
but i was always ready, composed
to look like silk when i am steel
i knew from the way you talked so softly
as i wept through our long phone conversations
that you were planning to catch me when i fell
and i would land like a feather to your big arms
like a child, a virgin, for you to taint
but i was never a child, never a virgin
i was a woman who knew how to kept her secrets well
i knew from the way you tried to forget me
by asking who i was and how i knew you
that you were trying to rile me up
and beg you to stay with me so you
could feel like a man after i didn’t choose you, again
but i knew that you were a man, and they fall
at the sight of a temptress that’s deceiver at best
i knew from the way your voice cracked
when i asked you for space after you
had told me you loved me and that i didn’t love you back
and all i could say was sorry
as you put down the phone, the line dead
but i wasn’t sorry, in fact i was relieved
of how fast i got rid of a mistake, a glitch
i knew from the way you appeared
in my dreams, or should i say nightmares
as you cried for me to come back to you
that you thought of me at some points
and my skin would flinch, conscience on high
but i didn’t thought of you until those nights
and i wished you’d stop thinking of me too
and then i knew from the way i feared
that i would pass by you at some places
and see you, paranoid
that maybe you had scratched my hide, tarnished my steel skin
hostaged my deepest darkest secrets
tamed the temptress in some minor degree, my greatest mistake haunting me
but i knew if that time came i would say
“thanks for the ride, now let’s let each other go”
Airah Writes 