When I got out of my long term relationship I did not expect for someone to immediately come into my life and try to replace what I lost.
So maybe I got tempted because I was used to always being with someone. Even if it was long distance, the thought of having someone comforted me for a while. At least I know that I’m not alone, and that’s okay.
Until it wasn’t.
Of course you’d want to have quality time with your significant other. Of course you’d want to go on dates with them, spend special events together, meet and talk about something positive or negative after a day, and just lie around and just… be together. That’s why it doesn’t always work, and that’s why mine didn’t.
So when there was finally someone who can do that for me, who was there, I gave it a go. And guess what, looking back at it now makes me laugh and cringe at the same time.
We only want the rebound as a replacement for what we have lost. To give us what we did not have in our previous relationship. Most importantly, to not feel the loneliness. But we never really separate the rebounds from our exes, because we want them to be like our exes.
Usually we all feel bad for the rebounds, right? But let me tell you my story.
My rebound was a fucking asshole. First, he was courting my friend. Then passed to me. I never wanted my friend to feel bad because I’ve previously experienced that so we told my friend about his plans. I did that courtesy, not him.
The next few days he was so creepy, he acted that we were together. Called me every morning, noon, and night. The funny part about it? He wouldn’t walk me home because, and I quote “We’re not even together.”
There were times that he would tell me he would make me feel better by making me work out and lose weight. He even said I looked like a local teen celebrity if I wasn’t so fat.
He only wanted me for the good parts and didn’t understand that I’m not okay. Of course as a strong independent woman I wasn’t taking that shit so I dumped him. Told him I needed space. But in reality I just wanted him away from me because that guy was so toxic.
I’d be biased if I just said the messy parts. He was a very good listener. And he cuddles like a teddy bear. But he’s like Ted, cute and cuddly on the outside but an asshole on the inside. So I dumped his sorry ass and now he can’t touch this.
Sometimes rebounds are not those people who want to help you get over your exes by replacing them, instead they are the people who take advantage of you in your most vulnerable state. No decent man would ever jump in like that to a girl who just went through a nasty breakup. To this day, I believe that my ex is a lot better than my rebound despite what happened to us. I still talk to him. My rebound? I wish I never met the guy.
Lesson? Don’t do rebounds, even if they’re intention is good and pure and holier than thou or not. It will always end up in a shithole. You can move on by yourself without crutching on anyone.