Date A Girl Who Reads/Watches Game of Thrones

Three things:

a. I am bored, b. I just had this brilliant idea derived from those ‘date a girl who blabla’ posts on Tumblr, and c. There are roughly 281 days until GoT Season 3. I just randomly typed this in the middle of the night and then went straight to bed. Satire? Maybe. Enjoy!

Date a girl who reads and watches Game of Thrones. Date a girl who spends her money buying the books instead of clothes. Date a girl who prefers to stay at home and watch HBO instead of going to the movies a lot.

Find a girl who reads and watches Game of Thrones. You’ll know what she does because she has the 3-inch book as a barbell on her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, looking for George R. R. Martin’s new sequel, and quietly cries out when she finds it. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are new and full of masochism. You’ll probably find her when you hear the GoT theme song or The Rains of Castamere by The National as her ring tone.

It’s easy to date her. Just give her the new book, or buy her the DVD series. Buy her a stuffed toy and convince her it’s a direwolf. Give her a voodoo doll that looks like Joffrey Baratheon or Theon Greyjoy and let her play with it, let her stab it with needles or cut its head off. Get her anything that has a dragon/lion/wolf/stag in it. When you go Dutch, she’ll never bail on you because she’ll say “a Lannister always pays his debts”.

She’s very dedicated, she will take what is hers with “fire and blood”. Because of the female characters in the series, she knows how to play using ultimately her mind and tears and maybe some other things. She knows how to guard her emotions, so you won’t expect jealous fits or cat fights. She has other, sneakier ways.

She’s unique. She greets you a Happy Name Day instead of Happy Birthday. She refers to homes as “House (insert last name)”. She might say “Dracarys” before she opens the stove or lights a match. When she has her period, she’ll say her red flower is blooming, which is less awkward. She refers anything more than 5 miles from afar as “beyond the wall”. When she runs out of reasons she ends the argument with “it is known”.

She’s strong. She’s not much into romcoms, and actually tolerates gore and character death. She knows the first lesson of swordplay. And don’t even think of raising your hand at her, because it will be the last time you have hands. But despite all of that, she has a tender spot in her heart for cripples and bastards and broken things.

You don’t have to promise her anything, because she believes words are wind. She’s not easily bothered when you tease her, for she lets herself be mocked from time to time, lest she takes herself too seriously.

Date her because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life the Seven Kingdoms can offer. A challenge, a thrill, a mystery– someone unforgettable that you simply cannot shake. You’ll be her sun and stars and she’ll be the moon of your life.

And eventually, if you’re not a fan yet, you’ll be a fan too. Because you gotta admit, she has good taste in books and TV series.

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