Maybe One Day

I am going to stop comparing
all of these men to you
How I would easily give them up,
leave and never call again at
the small, miniscule resemblance

I wish you had cut me with your hands
instead of your mouth and words
But you never knew how you spit like venom
Killing me through my bloodstream
slowly, horribly, carelessly

And then I would remember her
crying to me at night at how tired,
so very, very tired of you she was and I
would say, ‘Then leave him’ but
The next day it’s like nothing happened

You never knew her burdens and I
had to carry them all
I listened and was there for her
like what you should have done
all those years ago

I don’t have that kind of patience
or maybe that amount of love
to stay with a person who says things
that could kiss and kill me
at the same time

And yet despite it all I crumble,
break down, cry and wither
at the softest whispers of love
because despite it all I yearn it
even if I wish you never would

Maybe one day I would stop
comparing all these guys to you
because if I did, the cycle will never end
I don’t want to spend my next lifetime
hoping yet yearning for your love